I’ve never had oysters. I hear they taste like “the sea.” Which is probably the worst way to sell me an oyster. If I want to taste the sea, then I’ll either go to the beach or mix some salt in some tap water. Growing up by the beach, I think I’ve drunk enough sea for a lifetime. Mix this sea-y taste with the consistency of a…tongue? Probably not a tongue. Blob, maybe a blog. Mix this sea-y taste with the consistency of a blob. SLIMY BLOB. and you will guarantee that I will not be eating your oysters.
No one has asked me to eat an oyster.